I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
They have beer where we have blood.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
