Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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