i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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