***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
