It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize