Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
