winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
