Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
