I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
