last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
