You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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