Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
