dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
