If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
