Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

Hey it's Austin.

(254): View more from Texas

I am not drunk enough for this conversation.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I hate having morals and standards the next morning.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.

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(630): View more from Illinois

You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".

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(303): View more from Colorado

You made eat vitamins until I threw up

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more

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(459): View more from

I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"

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