Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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