What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
