U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
