Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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