just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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