im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
