Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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