Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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