I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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