No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
