so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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