I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
