Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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