We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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