# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Houston, we have a blender
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
