thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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