You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I AM VODKA MAN
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
