there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
whose ass print is on the piano?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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