I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
