your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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