So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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