It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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