There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
