Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
