I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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