i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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