return my video game
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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