so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
