her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
