apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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