I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
