Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
What a dumb baby whore.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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