Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
time to smoke my breakfast
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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