And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
