You just made me feel so damn special
i think my tv is drunk
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
